The Odd Dark Thought

Youth suicide, and suicide generally is not a new thing in our community, but it seems that modern day pressures have exacerbated the issue. The highest number of suicides occurs among males aged 25 to 34 years. Suicide occurs across all socioeconomic levels. It can be an impulsive act or a well thought out plan. All people - not just mental health professionals - can help those people experiencing suicidal thoughts by providing emotional and practical support.

What are the 'warning signs'? Predicting suicide is difficult. Changes in behaviour outside the person's normal range of behaviour, and which do not make sense to those close to them, may be a warning sign. Other warning signs may include:

• Loss of interest in previously pleasurable activities
• Giving away prized possessions
• Problem behaviour and substance misuse
• Apathy in dress and appearance, or a sudden change in weight
• Sudden and striking personality changes
• Withdrawal from friends and social activities
• Increased ‘accident proneness’ and self harming behaviours.

About 80 per cent of young people who complete suicide told someone they intended to kill themselves.

An innumerable amount of issues and life situations can precipitate a suicidal event. Stress can contribute to suicide. A young person may experience an overwhelming and immediate stress, or stress that builds up over a long time.

Stressful episodes can trigger suicide. These include:

• Loss of an important person through death or divorce
• Incest or child abuse
• A sense of failure at school
• A sense of failure in relationships
• Breaking up with a girlfriend or boyfriend
• Experiencing discrimination, isolation and relationship conflicts with family, friends and others because the young person is gay or lesbian
• The recent suicide of a friend or relative, or an anniversary of a suicide or the death of someone close to them.

Those who have a history of harming themselves deliberately are also at higher risk of suicide.

You maybe able to help, but not always, by doing all or some of the following:

Listen and encourage them to talk, show that you are taking their concern seriously,

• Tell the person you care
• Acknowledge their fears, despair or sadness
• Provide reassurance, but do not dismiss the problem
• Ask if they are thinking of hurting or killing themselves, and if they have a plan
• Point out the consequences of suicide for the person and those they leave behind
• Ensure they do not have access to lethal weapons or medications
• Stay with the person if they are at high risk
• Immediately tell someone else, preferably an adult
• Get help from professionals, offer to go with them to provide support
• Let them know where they can get other help
• Provide contact numbers and assist them to ring if necessary.

It does not help by:

• Interrupting with stories of your own
• Panicking or becoming angry
• Being judgmental
• Offering too much advice.

The bottom line is, listen and watch. One cannot always avert the issue, but, without being excessively paranoid about another's behaviour, it may be possible to defuse a potentially tragic situation, with some very simple approaches.

Keep in mind also that:

• You don't have to be a trained professional to help a person experiencing suicidal thoughts.
• Take all suicide threats seriously.
• You can help by offering emotional and practical support, by listening and by helping to link the person with professional help.

In emergency situations which you fear may be spiraling out of control, don't be afraid to ring (within Australia) "Suicide Help Line Tel. 1300 651 251".

The Yellow Pages ....

It's in the book .... and you can scroll through my past blogs if you look over on the lower right >>>>

The Yellow Pages ....

It's in the book ....

The Genius of Erickson

Milton Erickson is well known for the vast amount of work he did related to Clinical Hypnosis, which we now know as Hypnotherapy.

Many clients that I have arrive, with the belief that the process of hypnosis is complex, mystical and controlling in some way. It's not. All that it requires is a level of expertise in it's induction, and then, importantly in the case of related therapy, a wealth of knowledge of the approaches required for your client's issues.

Here is a very old clip that I found, of Erickson, simply demonstrating the use of inferred directives, amnesia, catalepsy, but most importantly I believe, the gentleness and speed of the induction into the trance state itself.

Milton Erickson, 3 hypnosis sessions by funkypitt

Of course, methods vary, times change, and we don't all have Erickson's approach, voice or accent, but I like the clip for it's simplicity.

Pure genius.

The Question

This is a short article, for both Hypnotherapists and people with an interest in the mind. There are four distinct, very subtle, sometimes confusing questions, which can be utilised in any therapy session. They can also be used by oneself in order to create solutions for personal issues.

These questions set in train a deeper pattern of thinking, which more often than not becomes an enlightening answer.

With the final question of the four, I can almost guarantee that it will send your mind into a really deep thinking mode, almost akin to a light hypnotic trance. Try them for yourself and see. Where I have inserted (change), you can substitute it for whatever issue you're attempting to resolve. For example, 'lost that excess weight', 'become less stressed' .... you get the picture.

The four questions go like this:

1. What would happen if you did (change)?
2. What would happen if you didn't (change)?
3. What would not happen if you (changed)?
4. What would not happen if you did not (change)?

There we have it. Looks simple, does it not. Try it. Feel free to comment.

Coping with bereavment

At some point in all of our lives it's inevitable that we shall be touched by the loss of a friend or relative. Death is part of life; but how do we handle it when it brushes close-by?

Even a person who is typically 'quite strong' and resolute can experience significant problems with bereavement and loss. It’s hard to get out of bed in the morning, it’s hard to focus at work, and it’s hard to maintain any sort of a normal lifestyle. In very severe cases of bereavement, you can literally damage your health along the way, both mentally and physically.

If you simply carry your grief, without some form of beneficial intervention, you will inevitably suffer. What’s more, the people around you suffer as well. In extreme cases, grief can wreak havoc with your job, your relationships, and your life in general. It’s very hard to carry on a normal, happy life when your issues with bereavement are getting in the way of daily living.

But what is grief? Grief is the normal internal feeling one experiences in reaction to a loss, while bereavement is the state of having experienced that loss. Although people often suffer emotional pain in response to loss of anything that is very important to them (for example, a job, a friendship, one's sense of safety, a home), grief usually refers to the loss of a loved one through death. Grief is quite common, in that three out of four women in the Western World outlive their spouse, with the average age of becoming a widow being 56 years. More than half of women in the in this statement are widowed by the time they reach age 65. Every year, 4% of children under the age of 15 experience the death of a parent. That's a lot of grief to carry.

Clinical Hypnosis (Hypnotherapy) is recognised as a truly valid way of developing a coping mechanism, where loss and grief are concerned. Keep in mind that this coping is not about forgetting, it is simply a way of altering in a positive fashion how we perceive and cope with the loss. In the 'super-stressed' mode which usually accompanies deep grief, we attempt to function, but we tend to do it superficially, at a conscious level of our mind. Hypnotherapy can give you the tools which guide you, a little more gently, through this process. Note that it is a process, there are steps which we need to go through during the time that we're grieving. The pain of that process however, can be salved by changing the way our minds handle that sadness.

I am available at all times via email, or simply call if you have a question.

The Blue Years

It's estimated that 15 to 20% of teenagers will suffer with some form of depression, the greater portion of them, by a small margin, being young women. Which ever way you look at it, that's a very large number indeed.

This depression can come and go, and may be a response to many situations and stresses. In adolescents, depressed mood is common because of the normal process of growing up, the stress associated with it, the influence of sex hormones, and independence conflicts with parents or guardians. It can be a very complex and confusing time for these young adults.

Of course, true teen depression is often difficult to diagnose, because normal adolescent behavior is marked by both up and down moods, with alternating periods of feeling ‘the world is a great place’ and ‘life is crap!'. The teen years are quite often the most turbulent times in our lives. These moods may alternate over a period of hours or days, and are indeed testing times for those closest, such as siblings or parents. These periods of anger, sadness, dark thoughts may be precipitated by many different situations or events. Some examples can be stressful life events, particularly the loss of a parent to death or divorce; child abuse; unstable care giving, poor social skills; chronic illness; and possibly a genetic predisposition to depression. It may also be a reaction to a disturbing event, such as the death of a friend or relative, a breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend, or failure at school. Adolescents who have low self-esteem can be highly self-critical, and may feel little sense of control over negative events. This group in particular are at risk of becoming depressed when they experience stressful life events.

Outbursts of anger, excessive sleeping, change in eating habits, even criminal behavior (like shoplifting) may be signs of depression. Another common symptom of adolescent depression is an obsession with death, which may take the form either of suicidal thoughts or of fears about death and dying. Self harm (cutting or other forms of self mutilation) is thought by some, to be a behaviour which may exhibit itself when a teenager isn't coping as well as they would wish.

What to do? That's a really good question indeed. It's my belief that teens with these symptoms are rarely, if ever, simply 'trying to seek attention'. Therefore, the situation is real, there are issues, and these issues should be approached with the intent of formulating some way of lessening these periods of 'down'.

Usually, but not always, these periods in a young persons life can be helped by thoughtful parental guidance. However, this is not always the case, and this being so, some form of external help and guidance may be required. Quite often, a chat with a caring third party can can help a great deal, so long as the teenager is willing to participate.

The bottom line? Whatever form this depression may take, or in whatever way it may manifest itself, it should never be ignored. Depression at any age is mother natures alarm bell.

If you're a teen reading this, and have such problems, or, if you're the carer of a teen with such issues, seek out help and guidance. The process of "talking it out" is quite often all that's required to 'put the boat back on course'.

Anxiety & the Queensland Floods

The wet season in Queensland began in earnest during December 2010. For much of the State, the beginning of 'The Wet' was a little early, and also much heavier than usual. As we are intersected by the Tropic of Capricorn, this is what we expect from November to February, sometimes longer. From the city of Rockhampton northward, we are in the Tropics, south of that of course is sub-tropical. We all watched in awe as town after town in the State was flooded by their adjacent river or creeks. Bundaberg, Rockhampton, Dalby, Chinchilla, Emerald, Condamine, Charleville are only some that succumbed to inundation. Many, many other small townships and properties went down. This, I thought, is going to be a big wet.

Then, just a few days ago I happened to hear a news flash on the television; it was short and succinct. It basically indicated that everyone living on the Toowoomba range and below should flee to higher ground, because of imminent flooding. It was not until later that day the news footage filtered through of what had taken place in the city of Toowoomba, and the small hamlets and townships which dot the eastern side of the Great Dividing Range below Toowoomba. A wall of water, named by the Police Commissioner as 'an inland tsunami' had smashed through this beautiful old city. Then, it thundered down the Range taking all before it. I sat in utter disbelief as I watched the footage captured by people on the spot as the event unfolded. This wall of water, estimated to be between 3 and 6 metres in depth roared through the core of Toowoomba. Cars, trucks, people, every single thing swept away. Queensland is a very large State in area, but we still have a relatively small population. This being the case, it is inevitable that almost all of us will be touched by the tragedy. Already, I know someone who knows a family lost on the Toowoomba Range.

Many of you reading this will not know Toowoomba, and until recent times I doubt if you've even heard the name. The horror and disbelief regarding what happened on this dark day is mainly created by the fact that the city sits on top of a mountain range. It literally is 'top of the range'. Nobody, me especially, ever thought or even dreamed that this could happen. Many years ago, I lived quite close to there, and visited often. It was always a little cooler and fresher when days in Ipswich or Brisbane were humid and oppressive.

On that day though, Mother Nature proved us all to be wrong. Incredible amounts of localised rain in a very, very short timespan created a flash-flood situation. The local creeks in Toowoomba went from a trickle to a thundering torrent within minutes. Creek banks burst, and the result was total and utter devastation. The rest is becoming history as I type this piece. The waters moved at catastrophic speed down the creeks on the Range, into the Lockyer Valley and onward to Brisbane and Ipswich. Many lives have been lost, and there's more poor souls to be recovered yet. Whole families have disappeared. There is billions of dollars of damage to property. Farmland and crops are laid waste, and lifestock simply washed away.

Of course, in this modern day and age, every single event which was filmed is shown on the media. People sit in disbelief, some in tears, watching something which in truth could happen to us all here in the North. The very improbable and unbelievable disaster of Toowoomba has made us all suddenly feel very vulnerable indeed.

This brings me to a most interesting point indeed. It's obvious that those involved in the floods will suffer some degree of trauma, some mildly, some to a greater degree. The human mind is resilient, but we all have a limit. Sadly, in some individuals the trauma will develop into what we know as PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). We know this will occur because of data from previous events, such as the Vietnam War and the 9/11 terrorism incidents. Interestingly, what came out of the 9/11 data, some years after the event, was quite astounding. It became obvious to researchers that many people who had been affected with PTSD had not necessarily been 'on the spot' geographically speaking when the event occurred. Many sufferers simply saw it time and time again on television. It was shown and replayed for many days and weeks on news channels and in documentaries. This viewing from a distance, it appears, was sufficient to imprint the trauma within the minds of the viewers, and in some, initiate the onset of PTSD. I guess the reasoning and logic behind this is simple when we think about it. Television images are 'real' to our minds, and those horrific scenes create within us the same psychological and physiological reactions as if we were actually 'on the spot'.

This means then that even persons far distanced from the horrors of Toowoomba and the flooding in the remainder of Queensland are potential sufferers of PTSD, or, at a lesser level, periods of anxiety.

I am writing this as I want people to be aware. Aware of the feelings they may have right now, or in the near future. My advice to anyone affected would be to seek help as soon as is possible; these afflictions tend to 'mature with age' in my humble opinion. If you are experiencing the anxiety that's created by trauma, or even full blown PTSD (Google that if you're unsure of the symptoms) find yourself some support as soon as is practicable. Hypnotherapy is a fine way of dealing with such issues.

Finally, I would like to personally extend my sincere and heartfelt condolences to those affected by this disastrous and deadly wet season. To those who have lost loved ones and friends, my heart goes out to you. To those who have lost your life belongings, your place of work, your home, take heart, I am certain that Australia is right behind you. I would also like to thank all members of all the Emergency Services. Many have risked life and limb in order to save others. They have worked relentlessly, some for days on end. Thank you.

And ... how are you today?

As therapists, no matter what modality of treatment we employ, the title of this article is a question that invariably appears within the first few minutes of a client’s appointment. It’s what we say ….. we do it naturally. After all, it’s our concern; the well-being of this individual before us. Do we mean it? Well, of course we do. Do we always comprehend the depth of the reply? Of course we don’t! The sensations experienced when suffering with whatever ails one, be it a psychological or physical problem is totally unique experientially. In other words, we can never understand fully what the other person is thinking or feeling. Nor should we at times, for as indicated by Milton H. Erickson, clients speak in their own metaphorical language; for us to attempt to comprehend it fully would be foolhardy, and, most of the time superfluous.

People with a problem depict it in a way that they wish it to be seen; as therapists, it is important to stand back a little and be impartial. That is not to say that we should not be sensitive to our clients’ needs, on the contrary. In order to form a rapport with another person, it is imperative that a bond, albeit temporary in nature be formed betwixt the two minds. This formation of rapport is extremely important in Hypnotherapy. Trust, rapport and relaxation make for a really good start to any Hypnotherapy encounter. But I don’t need to tell you that.

As an indication of depth and intensity of feelings experienced by people suffering with a ‘mind problem’, I have included an actual letter from a woman who has suffered with severe anxiety, and panic disorder for some years. It illustrates in quite a dramatic way that “mind – body connection”. She kindly gave her permission allowing this to be published, in order that we may all begin to understand this problem a little more fully. For obvious reasons of anonymity her name is not shown. For those of you not familiar with the anxiety based disorders, it may indeed be educational. Take note just how physical the symptoms can be. The letter is printed verbatim, but with her name excluded.

Anxiety at it’s Peak:

Hi Dan, just had to email you to ask you a couple of questions, if you don't mind. For the past 10 days I have been having the worst time, I feel as though I have been living in terror mode. Each day I have been waking up nervous, a shaky jelly mess from the tips of my toes to the top of my head. There is a revving inside that has made me feel terrorized. I haven’t been able to concentrate on anything other than the scared body reactions I'm getting, they feel like they are pulsing through you like bolts of electricity. All the muscles in my body have tightened to the point where they feel like to move is going to break them. There is pain in muscles and bones and I've had these crampy twitches in the whole body. My shoulders are up around my ears most of the time I can’t seem to drop them and relax. I've noticed too that I have had heaps of static electricity in my body as well. I am finding the cold weather is affecting me as well and the revved terror feeling is worse as the day gets colder. My body seems to lock up and when I check my blood pressure it has gone way up and then I start having thoughts like "Oh my god, am I having a stroke or is the pain I feel a heart attack" "is this numby feeling in my hands, feet and legs because my circulation is bad" terror, horror, "am I dying" My mind gets so terrified I cant talk to anyone and my body revs up even more then. I have had bubbly sick stomach and pulsy bubbly heartbeat feeling in my abdomen, as well as foot and leg cramps that tighten the muscles so much they feel like they will break. I get this stiffness in my body that scares me and I feel like I'm on overload that I might just loose the plot one day. The days seem so hard and when I have to entertain, even my family, I feel like I can’t handle the body sensations, I can’t concentrate on conversations even. There are days I wonder if I am going mad, it feels that bad. Are these things I am feeling all a part of anxiety Dan? Because all I know is that I am feeling absolute terror and that terrifies me. If you can shed any light on this I would be so grateful.

Thank you for your time, and I look forward to your reply.

Well, there it is. The physical terror of anxiety at its worst. I hope in some way that this helps all of you to develop an understanding of this affliction, and comprehend a little more fully the link between mind and body. It is a powerful and very important nexus, which we as therapists need to keep at the forefront of our own minds.