The Odd Dark Thought

Youth suicide, and suicide generally is not a new thing in our community, but it seems that modern day pressures have exacerbated the issue. The highest number of suicides occurs among males aged 25 to 34 years. Suicide occurs across all socioeconomic levels. It can be an impulsive act or a well thought out plan. All people - not just mental health professionals - can help those people experiencing suicidal thoughts by providing emotional and practical support.

What are the 'warning signs'? Predicting suicide is difficult. Changes in behaviour outside the person's normal range of behaviour, and which do not make sense to those close to them, may be a warning sign. Other warning signs may include:

• Loss of interest in previously pleasurable activities
• Giving away prized possessions
• Problem behaviour and substance misuse
• Apathy in dress and appearance, or a sudden change in weight
• Sudden and striking personality changes
• Withdrawal from friends and social activities
• Increased ‘accident proneness’ and self harming behaviours.

About 80 per cent of young people who complete suicide told someone they intended to kill themselves.

An innumerable amount of issues and life situations can precipitate a suicidal event. Stress can contribute to suicide. A young person may experience an overwhelming and immediate stress, or stress that builds up over a long time.

Stressful episodes can trigger suicide. These include:

• Loss of an important person through death or divorce
• Incest or child abuse
• A sense of failure at school
• A sense of failure in relationships
• Breaking up with a girlfriend or boyfriend
• Experiencing discrimination, isolation and relationship conflicts with family, friends and others because the young person is gay or lesbian
• The recent suicide of a friend or relative, or an anniversary of a suicide or the death of someone close to them.

Those who have a history of harming themselves deliberately are also at higher risk of suicide.

You maybe able to help, but not always, by doing all or some of the following:

Listen and encourage them to talk, show that you are taking their concern seriously,

• Tell the person you care
• Acknowledge their fears, despair or sadness
• Provide reassurance, but do not dismiss the problem
• Ask if they are thinking of hurting or killing themselves, and if they have a plan
• Point out the consequences of suicide for the person and those they leave behind
• Ensure they do not have access to lethal weapons or medications
• Stay with the person if they are at high risk
• Immediately tell someone else, preferably an adult
• Get help from professionals, offer to go with them to provide support
• Let them know where they can get other help
• Provide contact numbers and assist them to ring if necessary.

It does not help by:

• Interrupting with stories of your own
• Panicking or becoming angry
• Being judgmental
• Offering too much advice.

The bottom line is, listen and watch. One cannot always avert the issue, but, without being excessively paranoid about another's behaviour, it may be possible to defuse a potentially tragic situation, with some very simple approaches.

Keep in mind also that:

• You don't have to be a trained professional to help a person experiencing suicidal thoughts.
• Take all suicide threats seriously.
• You can help by offering emotional and practical support, by listening and by helping to link the person with professional help.

In emergency situations which you fear may be spiraling out of control, don't be afraid to ring (within Australia) "Suicide Help Line Tel. 1300 651 251".

The Yellow Pages ....

It's in the book .... and you can scroll through my past blogs if you look over on the lower right >>>>

The Yellow Pages ....

It's in the book ....

The Genius of Erickson

Milton Erickson is well known for the vast amount of work he did related to Clinical Hypnosis, which we now know as Hypnotherapy.

Many clients that I have arrive, with the belief that the process of hypnosis is complex, mystical and controlling in some way. It's not. All that it requires is a level of expertise in it's induction, and then, importantly in the case of related therapy, a wealth of knowledge of the approaches required for your client's issues.

Here is a very old clip that I found, of Erickson, simply demonstrating the use of inferred directives, amnesia, catalepsy, but most importantly I believe, the gentleness and speed of the induction into the trance state itself.

Milton Erickson, 3 hypnosis sessions by funkypitt

Of course, methods vary, times change, and we don't all have Erickson's approach, voice or accent, but I like the clip for it's simplicity.

Pure genius.

The Question

This is a short article, for both Hypnotherapists and people with an interest in the mind. There are four distinct, very subtle, sometimes confusing questions, which can be utilised in any therapy session. They can also be used by oneself in order to create solutions for personal issues.

These questions set in train a deeper pattern of thinking, which more often than not becomes an enlightening answer.

With the final question of the four, I can almost guarantee that it will send your mind into a really deep thinking mode, almost akin to a light hypnotic trance. Try them for yourself and see. Where I have inserted (change), you can substitute it for whatever issue you're attempting to resolve. For example, 'lost that excess weight', 'become less stressed' .... you get the picture.

The four questions go like this:

1. What would happen if you did (change)?
2. What would happen if you didn't (change)?
3. What would not happen if you (changed)?
4. What would not happen if you did not (change)?

There we have it. Looks simple, does it not. Try it. Feel free to comment.

Coping with bereavment

At some point in all of our lives it's inevitable that we shall be touched by the loss of a friend or relative. Death is part of life; but how do we handle it when it brushes close-by?

Even a person who is typically 'quite strong' and resolute can experience significant problems with bereavement and loss. It’s hard to get out of bed in the morning, it’s hard to focus at work, and it’s hard to maintain any sort of a normal lifestyle. In very severe cases of bereavement, you can literally damage your health along the way, both mentally and physically.

If you simply carry your grief, without some form of beneficial intervention, you will inevitably suffer. What’s more, the people around you suffer as well. In extreme cases, grief can wreak havoc with your job, your relationships, and your life in general. It’s very hard to carry on a normal, happy life when your issues with bereavement are getting in the way of daily living.

But what is grief? Grief is the normal internal feeling one experiences in reaction to a loss, while bereavement is the state of having experienced that loss. Although people often suffer emotional pain in response to loss of anything that is very important to them (for example, a job, a friendship, one's sense of safety, a home), grief usually refers to the loss of a loved one through death. Grief is quite common, in that three out of four women in the Western World outlive their spouse, with the average age of becoming a widow being 56 years. More than half of women in the in this statement are widowed by the time they reach age 65. Every year, 4% of children under the age of 15 experience the death of a parent. That's a lot of grief to carry.

Clinical Hypnosis (Hypnotherapy) is recognised as a truly valid way of developing a coping mechanism, where loss and grief are concerned. Keep in mind that this coping is not about forgetting, it is simply a way of altering in a positive fashion how we perceive and cope with the loss. In the 'super-stressed' mode which usually accompanies deep grief, we attempt to function, but we tend to do it superficially, at a conscious level of our mind. Hypnotherapy can give you the tools which guide you, a little more gently, through this process. Note that it is a process, there are steps which we need to go through during the time that we're grieving. The pain of that process however, can be salved by changing the way our minds handle that sadness.

I am available at all times via email, or simply call if you have a question.

The Blue Years

It's estimated that 15 to 20% of teenagers will suffer with some form of depression, the greater portion of them, by a small margin, being young women. Which ever way you look at it, that's a very large number indeed.

This depression can come and go, and may be a response to many situations and stresses. In adolescents, depressed mood is common because of the normal process of growing up, the stress associated with it, the influence of sex hormones, and independence conflicts with parents or guardians. It can be a very complex and confusing time for these young adults.

Of course, true teen depression is often difficult to diagnose, because normal adolescent behavior is marked by both up and down moods, with alternating periods of feeling ‘the world is a great place’ and ‘life is crap!'. The teen years are quite often the most turbulent times in our lives. These moods may alternate over a period of hours or days, and are indeed testing times for those closest, such as siblings or parents. These periods of anger, sadness, dark thoughts may be precipitated by many different situations or events. Some examples can be stressful life events, particularly the loss of a parent to death or divorce; child abuse; unstable care giving, poor social skills; chronic illness; and possibly a genetic predisposition to depression. It may also be a reaction to a disturbing event, such as the death of a friend or relative, a breakup with a boyfriend or girlfriend, or failure at school. Adolescents who have low self-esteem can be highly self-critical, and may feel little sense of control over negative events. This group in particular are at risk of becoming depressed when they experience stressful life events.

Outbursts of anger, excessive sleeping, change in eating habits, even criminal behavior (like shoplifting) may be signs of depression. Another common symptom of adolescent depression is an obsession with death, which may take the form either of suicidal thoughts or of fears about death and dying. Self harm (cutting or other forms of self mutilation) is thought by some, to be a behaviour which may exhibit itself when a teenager isn't coping as well as they would wish.

What to do? That's a really good question indeed. It's my belief that teens with these symptoms are rarely, if ever, simply 'trying to seek attention'. Therefore, the situation is real, there are issues, and these issues should be approached with the intent of formulating some way of lessening these periods of 'down'.

Usually, but not always, these periods in a young persons life can be helped by thoughtful parental guidance. However, this is not always the case, and this being so, some form of external help and guidance may be required. Quite often, a chat with a caring third party can can help a great deal, so long as the teenager is willing to participate.

The bottom line? Whatever form this depression may take, or in whatever way it may manifest itself, it should never be ignored. Depression at any age is mother natures alarm bell.

If you're a teen reading this, and have such problems, or, if you're the carer of a teen with such issues, seek out help and guidance. The process of "talking it out" is quite often all that's required to 'put the boat back on course'.